For your waiting pleasure…

While you wait for my post to go up today.. which i was working on last night but got distracted.. then again today.. distracted…
and now I am thinking about sucking marzipan off of battenburg cakes…
distraction yet again!
ok so here are a few links i want you to check out!
first off…
Marty has a new page…
www.trippingwithmarty.com
its fun and mischievous and i LIKE IT!
speaking of “i like it”.. that is the new single off of the new album by Foxy Shazam..
“Foxy Shazam
Stopping at the corner store for mints – $2.99. Buying roses for your Valentine’s day lover – $49.99. Eating a fancy dinner for two – $ 79.99. Reserving a hotel room at the fanciest hotel you can think of with a heart shaped bubble bath – $449.99. Not getting any of that stupid shit and showing your lover the VEVO world premiere of the music video for “I Like It” – priceless. There are something’s money can’t buy, for everything else there’s Foxy Shazam.”

OK so here is my take on the Superbowl.
fuck the giants..
hey for that matter fuck football.. my Futball has a soccer ball and is played by little hot ball kickers…
but the commercials are always awesome..
this one in particular was sooo hot I watched it a few times…
and we all know I love “the killing moon”..

and i know some people really hate this.. but i really loved it!
wish Richard Edson reprised his driving role though…

and sorry jetpacks are awesome Jerry….no jet pack for you!

John Stamos… ummm….oh yea….spooon.. oh suck that yogurt out his mouth i dare you.. dooooo it…

i’m hungry now. I dont even eat doritos…

I drive a ford ranger… but i will pack it with twinkies anyway..

This one really pulls at the heartstrings…
Thank you Clint.

Here in my car

Yesterday I wrote about music in the car.
We all sing along at times..
Life is a sing along.
Sometimes I think life is a musical.
It got me thinking.. Little car things.. When you are looking for a street do you turn down the radio so you can see the signs better?
I’m not a fan of long drives.. But I find them therapeutic. Sometimes I just need the music to flow through me when I can’t get any breathing room.. But I do have anxiety and if I gonna be late I will lose it in a car.. Feel claustrophobic ect… Traffic freaks me out.. Waiting at stop lights makes me nervous. And sometimes I am a bad driver and that makes me nervous. I try so hard to be a good driver and I miss lanes and stuff. Ok that scared you all huh?
My car is like my sanctuary.. I drive to beaches and lakes and rivers.
I take pictures.
And I find old things to admire.
I could go on longer trip yet I drink so much coffee and water I pee every hour.. That kinda sucks.
I really do need the time out though.. I really do. I feel like a bad mom for taking the breaks but honestly short of maybe a few hours a weekend I am a homebody who only leaves the house to grocery shop.
I do a lot of my writing in my head on these breaks. I get the free air time in there to not think about crap I need to get done.
But then I come home and its back to the day old day old..

I am getting a rare Sunday window to write.. As the trolls are all upstairs playing with Maia. And Joe had errands to run.
I am using the down time to write and play my words with friends’ games and plan dinner actually. I really have no idea what to cook for dinner which is very unlike me. I am absolutely craving homemade meatballs.. Rustic Italian bread and a ceaser salad though..No pasta with the meatballs though.. I have given the pasta up. Was never a fan of it anyway.
It doesn’t matter what I cook..I am not sure they (people who live in my house) appreciate my cooking. Ah the joys of being a mom.
I will use that window of no food to run to the store.. And sing loudly and dance in my car!
It’s super bowl Sunday.. So maybe not.. Still on the fence on that one.

I have friends who do not drive.. They live in big cities where driving is not necessary or needed. So here is my secret.
I didn’t get my license till I was almost 19. I did however once attempt to go get my permit at 16. Kimmy(best grade school friend) and I left in her little Honda I think to go shopping and get a permit.
Kimmy saw a guy on a motorcycle that looked just like the guy she had just been dumped by so she attempted to pass him. ON THE RIGHT.
It was a dirt gully on the right and she over corrected after sliding into it and spun the car into a 180 and then we flipped onto the side and kept going. Heil propane was across the road where she came to a stop ten feet from a propane tank. Mortified employees came running along with mortified motorcycle driver.
Now why do I say she came? I jumped out. I still to this day have no idea how I got out before we flipped but I did.. I rolled a few times but otherwise was intact and fine. I had road burns and a sprained ankle I think. And get this. MY CIGGERETTE WAS STILL LIT AND IN MY MOUTH. Very Patsy and Edina moment…
I was not in a hurry to get my license after that and was on restriction form driving with Kimmy for a month. She had hit a road barrier the week before in my mom’s Buick so I was surprised I hadn’t been placed on Kimmy restriction yet anyway.
So at almost 19 I got my license and passed my driving test with a 99.
At 23 I voluntarily gave it up when I found that having one and insurance in California was more expensive that actually paying my parking tickets. I had no car but I had insurance and no place to park a car had I bought one. And my last speeding ticket was for well a lot more than I had in my account. So I cut a deal with the judge. Give up license drop the fine.
At 28 2 years after a different car accident in which a drunk driver almost killed us in Seattle I decided I need to drive again and my anxiety with others driving was getting to everyone I was in a car with.
I passed with a hundred out of a hundred.. And my driving test dude looked like judge Ito.. Which was just awesome. And I was in a stick shift so I think I was mighty impressive.
After that it seemed like all I ever did was drive. Road trips to California.. Dance lessons, work. WOW.. I liked not driving a whole hell of a lot better.
I got to Indiana and I don’t drive enough.. I bought a beautiful white ford Flex I named Eloise and I don’t go anywhere.. That needs to be fixed.. Pronto..I informed the people that live in the house that this last year where I have a built in babysitter I will be go out once a month for ME time. They may not like it.. But I sure do.
Yesterday I drove out to Trader Joe’s.. Got some pics of a place I had been to once before out by there and then drove in nutty ass traffic in Orland Park. As much as I hated the traffic I enjoyed the me time.. No clocks, no one worrying about me, no Jack barfing in the back seat, no are we there yets no one hurrying me to shop faster.. Although I did anyway cause the place was a madhouse, etc.. And they all got something out of it.. And I got an hour plus of clear driving time there and back.
And car music.. And car dancing..
So today I bring you car music..
Enjoy…

this one i crank real loud and when i sing i tear up badly…

and this one in particular is an all time fave.. i even along to it in stores.

and i forgot to add this yesterday..it played in my car..and i was happy.. very happy.

now feel free to add your two cents!

Life is just a fantasy magic carpet car ride.

I was 14 years old and I had detention for the umpteenth time.. I had graduated to Saturday detentions due to the severity of my crimes. This time for telling off senor fuckface off for calling us all gringos and participating in his slightly loco nervous breakdown. The man, sorry senor was a freak of nature who should not be left alone with a room of white kids.
No seriously.
Ok so the time before I told the French teacher she was hiding Hitler in her hair.. In German…
Saturday detention consisted of garbage cleanup around the school.. And it was nowhere as cool as in the breakfast club movie..
As my dad dropped me off upfront and I lollygagged my way to the back quads I watched as a new car pulled up. Some kind of super sports car. As I look back now it could have been a Fiero for all I know but hey I was 14.
As the door lifted up and the teenager driving it got out I could hear Aldo Nova “fantasy” playing. And I was completely and utterly smitten with my first real high school crush.
Greg Soucy.
Baggy red leather parachute looking pants, black chuck taylors, and a purple leopard print tight …oh sooooo tight t-shirt…
Spiked blonde haired god that he was… I had to be on his garbage picking up team.
We ended up talking about the Clash for the entire 6 hours of Saturday detention.. And it went so quick it seemed like five minutes.. Then it was over.. I went back to being a loser freshman and he went back to be the transfer hot student from Buffalo New York… and a junior with a drivers license.
I do remember crank calling him once and my sister talked to him for an hour without ever letting on who we were..
Years later he saw me waiting for a bus after graduation.. He gave me a ride..And that was it.. He told me that I was over my head in life and not being true to myself.. I think he was getting at the “Hey Girlfriend” “your boyfriend is such a douche.., oh girl you could be doing so much better”
I’m afraid I was never Greg’s type.. Though I could be wrong.. He always did like my cool clothes.
Why do I tell you all this..
Everytime I hear “Fantasy” by Aldo nova.. I think of Greg Soucy and wonder what he is up too.
And then I think to myself.. I think all my high school crushes might have had a more… umm Gidget lacking Gaydar vibe…

I was in the car today for far too long with way too much good music.. And I was alone with my thoughts.
I love singing along and dancing in my car..
I need to do this more often..
Till then picture Gidget..
Then picture Gidget totally grooving in the car…
Take a ride with me…..

this one is a real sing along.. try to not do that!

and this played as I pulled back into my town…
i was soooooo dancing in my car…

I am not a God though I might be a Monster.

I sit and watch Chester chase the kids from his side of the fence. They all know him by now and say hi and he runs and barks and wags his invisible tail.
It’s a morning ritual for him.
My coffee is warm and in my favorite mug. The “Secret Weapon” is playing silently through my earphones even though I guess I don’t need to worry about the noise today as Dyl is already awake and eating Trix in my bed watching “Johnny Test”
The bus driver was early as Jack was still brushing his teeth when she pulled up.. 8 minutes earlier than yesterday.. We have a window in which she shows up. She was actually 2 minutes before the 7 minute window I made with Jack. He likes things on time. Throws him off completely when it messes that up.. I did buy him a watch and that actually made things worse for others so we took it back away from him and put up a clock by the door.
That is my typical morning.
I’m in my jammies
Polka dot, black and white, and my beat to hell black holey sweatshirt with them.
Did I mention my fave little black bootie slippers.. Well they also have holes in them but I am particular about slippers and these are my faves and I can’t part with them yet.

I am not sure if the roofing guy is coming out today but the adjuster is not.. So I just might actually have a morning to myself.. To enjoy.. To sip coffee and eat special K cereal.. Play words with friends and just be a dork.
I am reflecting.. As “Boris” says “reflecting more than a mirrored disco ball”
I am trying too hard to not analyze and just fricken reflect.. It’s a hard thing.. I am queen of analyzing.. I think everything over and never moved till it’s been dissected. I prefer the word “ponder” as I am the “Ponderer”
Just things … Life things…
I could get sucked up in the game of life.. But as I tell my kids I hate fucking board games..
Last night was a toughy.. My brain spills a mile a minute all with useless crap that won’t let me turn off. I feel like james whale in the movie “Gods and Monsters”
Well except for the fact I am not a queen…No really he had a horrible case of anxiety disorder and in his head he would replay all the past mistakes of his life.. his brain would not turn off. I call these moments when I do them.. James Whale moments.. the namn was a genius.. yet tormented.. today he would be on Zoloft. Oh yeah he’d also be really alive and without his anxiety no one would have gotten the anxiety he put into Frankenstein.. His monster.. His loveable creepy being..No one would have cried when the monster died.
No one has ever made Frankenstein that loveable since.. he is always an evil be4ing.
But when you go back to it the origins of the film and the book for which it is adapted form we all can identify with the being that is Frankenstein and we see his master as a forgotten lost soul. A man who has nothing and wants to recreate something.
I explained this all to Maia one day.
I told her to go and read Mary Shelley’s book. A book long suggested may have been written under the troughs of drugs and passion. A woman who just lost her child.. A child that she wanted oh so bad but maybe it was the drugs.. Maybe it was not meant to be.. It is all up to the imagination of the biographer.. Whichever one you read. She went one after that to lose two more children and became darkly depressed.
There are some who don’t even believe she wrote the book.. And there are other who believe the muse of Percy Shelley may have wrote some of their masterpieces.
I personally believe she wrote the book out of guilt for the death of her premature child and also the death of her own mother 11 days after she was born.
The bottom line is her book is filled with rage and grief.. To bring back a child form the dead in the form of a monster. As necromancing only releases monsters onto the earth and frowned upon my many religions.
James Whale got that.
And he was a genius.. And the voices and memories in his head got so loud he silenced them.
All I wanted was to go to sleep.
I’m awake now.. And tonight I will do the same damn thing. And then the next night and so on.

The thing about Gods and Monsters in general is most of us have them.. Not the extent we kill ourselves but our heads have way too much to process with the ability to change every day.
I have strong beliefs.. I usually never share this fact with anyone unless I am in an argument. BUT…
Religion and politics are not something I believe in bringing to the dinner table unless you want to be asked to take a doggy bag to go. I personally believe unless you are brainwashed non two people can believe the EXACT same thing.
Let’s start with politics. Facebook is a genius in the level on the gaming field. It has brought the dinner table forefront.
A lot of people have been asked to take that doggy bag home.
Unless you share a brain you really can’t assume that the person next to you believes the same as you do.. No matter how much you support the politician that he or she also supports. So bullying comes into effect. Which to me is a form of brainwashing. And facebook has perfected this art and taken away free speech yet people will argue they have more free speech than ever.
The same can be said of blogging.. People like me are allowed to express their opinion on boards across the world and wide and web. And when someone disagrees of course they are wrong …
Not on my page..
That creates the monsters.. I don’t need any more than I already have.
I believe in God.. Though honestly unless we share a brain you do not believe in my god.. or my perception.. I got to mass every week at St. Stan’s.. And I pray for my friends.. I can’t guarantee that the person next to me also prays the same way. And I would hate it if they did.
Brainwashing takes into affect.
If you are shunted at with such force that your brain no longer can handle all the misinformation you will turn it to mush and the person wanting you to think like them will enforce THEIR God and THEIR monsters.. Therefore removing all forms of free speech and ability to process free thought.
A lot of organized religions do so.. That being said I go on my own free will and I listen to what I want to hear and I make my own mind up on what to believe.
My own belief of Gods and Monsters right there for you..
It’s not an argument.. It’s not up for discussion.. It’s just my opinion while I have free speech still.
NO ONE
Not even on facecrack has the right to tell anyone what they believe is wrong.
It’s why I have a bittersweet love with the app called facebook.
I don’t want to go there to have opinions shoved at me.
I want to go and post videos.. Read “Smartassery” from others who might think close to how I do and see what people are up to and kill some time.
I personally think people put way too much into facebook than needed. Yes it does make you feel famous for fifteen minutes..
BUT!
It’s taken far too more seriously than it should be.
I would be happy in a future that involves photo taking and warm nights by the fire.. Laptops and kindles placed away.
BUT!
A wise man told me there are NO GUARENTEES.
Took me a day to drop the confusion of the word. To embrace and realize it for truth.
La La La Live for today.. And don’t worry about tomorrow…
Which is kinda hard with all the pissant posts on facebook telling us we are doomed unless we believe the WORD…
And with that I can tell you some truths…
In the middle of the war on organizations that don’t conform a few notable posts went up..
They might have been missed altogether.. But a few stood out…
Three deaths..
Don Cornelius(host extraordinaire) (taught white people all over America how to dance)
Mike Kelley (artist)
And today..
Phil Brown (of the band the Records) (as far as I am considered the band the recorded one of the best pop songs ever written)
I can guarantee unless you are an immortal you will die.. I can’t guarantee when…

no we just dont….
“If you love me I will protect you.. you’ve got to believe it will be alright in the end.”

and for your consideration

UPDATE:
slippers died…might have to throw them out.

Birthday or a pretty view.

So once again convinced turkey bacon is not food.. In fact I think veggie bacon taste better. But I don’t give up easily so once again I am eating the crap.
I didn’t Blog yesterday for a very simple reason. The insurance sent a company out to dry out the wall and the machine they use has the loudest motor. Now picture this.. My office is directly below my bedroom.. Where the ceiling hole is. It very loud and on the floor.. Therefore vibrating my office. Making my office unusable for days. And of course I had no air to breathe while this is going on. The humidity was being sucked right out.. Therefore I have been grumpy and without sleep for days.. And this will never be over. Never.. Next step fix roof them strip wallpaper and paint or put up new.
All while planning a birthday for Dylan and getting my other stuff done.
So this morning they came out and got the monstrosity and took it away.. Gonna take some time for my ears to adjust to it all. They have been ringing for days.

So The Dylien’s birthday came and went.
It was actually a good time to be had on both days.
Saturday started off with Jack and Joe and I heading to Toys R Us.. Jack explaining to me all this time he thought the us was just an S and he never got it. He might not ever have been in a real Toys R Us.. It is an hour away. He told me the name made more sense now but wanted to know who the us was.
A small child’s toy drum kit. My mother sent money so I picked an obnoxious gift.
Some batman and star wars toys
And a keepon.
A Keepon is a small round yellow chicken looking thing that dances.
It’s a knock off of a Japanese thing robot toy thing that cost a few thousand dollars that actually mimicked autistic kids and was supposed to help them learn emotion. Now it’s a 20 dollar doll at Toy R Us.
Of course Jackie wanted to leave after each toy. “OK were done” he’d say.. I finally got him to shut up by reminding him that Dyl could get him just one toy if we followed Jack’s rules.
Not one monster high doll ended up in my cart.. But the other person shopping made me put back the 25 dollar Twilight Zone dolls and the Lily Munster.
After working up the appetite needed for Golden Corral we finished off the day there with jack eating ice cream and chocolate dipped marshmallows and the likes.

The night consisted of a trip to St Stans with the Dyl.. And then eating at the fave eatery.. Stray dog..

Wow Dyl Loved the Birthday treatment there.. We were greeted at the door by the ultra cool and hip Joey D who immediately made a connection with Dyl. Katie was quick with a Roy Rogers drink for the little guy who ordered a hot dog and fries!.
I really enjoy going there and was glad they made Dyl feel like a prince.
Meanwhile at home Maia and Jack were having date night and baking a cake for Dyl.
When it came time for dessert.. Dyl was met with a plate full of whipped cream and a drumstick places atop more whipped cream with hidden ice cream sandwiches under it all. At the top of the plate was written Happy Birthday.
I did take pics but they didn’t capture the amazing look on Dyl’s face of being loved and he was pretty darn feeling like a prince.
On the way home he told us stories of his planet that included swimming in gravity as his planet has invisible water.

The next day we did the Burger king birthday and the family party.
Both low key and perfect.

He is playing with his Keepon now.. They are on his bran new leappad so he can stop stealing his brothers.
Jack is actually building his mini drum kit for him.

I think five is gonna be a very good year.

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Hi My Name is ….what?????

I’m sitting at my desk listening to “She’s heaven” by Green..I love this song.. Brings me back to when I first started the whole “Secret Weapon” thingee.
I’m feeling discombobulated.. Is that the right word for it?
I think it is..Either that or I have tossed my head out a window..
Having any kind of disrepair or upset in my life throws me off.
And the hole in my ceiling makes me feel a little disorientated.
Maybe I am as autistic as Jack.. nah… cause I move furniture around too much when I feel I need change.
Sometime this afternoon the water people are coming to set up a water sucking device in my ceiling. Because we really don’t need any mold? It’s gonna be huge and noisy and above my fucking head.. Literally. My bedroom is above my office and I assume it will vibrate and piss me off. It will throw me off to have that much noise in the house.
But we gotta do what we gotta do.
Also threw me off they were earlier than the 9:30 they said.. I don’t trust people who show up early. Makes me think they might be anxious. I like to show up right on the dot.
I don’t trust people who are late either.. Right on the dot people.. Right on the dot…What if I was rushing around still getting dressed.. UGH!

So anyway.. I won’t be blogging all weekend. It’s Dyl’s birthday on Sunday.. And much to the Gidget way I need to go shopping for him at Toys r us.. TOMORROW.. Yes the day before.. He was finding every gift I got.. Along with Jack helping.. I got sick of having to let him have the gifts early so I am waiting.
OK so get this.. A fucking Barbie.. He asked for a Barbie!
OK so maybe it’s just a monster high doll….BUT it looks like a Bratz doll with fangs!
WHAT IS MAIA DOING TO MY BOYS?
So they are sitting in bed last night BARBIES or monster high dolls in hand playing..
It really bothers me in a way that I probably shouldn’t let it…
BUT IT DOES!
I gotta give it up and not give him a complex about it…
I will buy some boys toys tomorrow. Toys r us.. OH BOY.. I am gonna have so much fun.. I can think of better ways to spend my Saturday and that isn’t one of them.
And I can guarantee I won’t be too happy tomorrow missing out on fun to go to a toy store.
I’d much rather be DOING FUN! Even if it was just sitting in a friggen forest with my camera…

So Maia offered to bake a cake for Dyl when I take him to dinner tomorrow night.. Was thinking of taking him to the Stray Dog.. Cause I know they will spoil him rotten!
On Sunday his actual birthday he has two things going on.. Birthday party at Burger King with his little friends from school.. And then pizza with grandma and grandpa..

A mother from school called and we laughed as she said “Hey I don’t even know what to call you” and I said “Dyl’s mom is fine”.. And she laughed cause then she admitted she forgot her own name there for a minute…
That is what it boils down to.. I am a mom..
Someday maybe once a month I can be Gidget.. That would be awesome.. This weekend though.. My name is Dyl’s mom.

http://monsterhighdoll.org/

“Dear Mr. Kotter. Please excuse Juan’s absence”

I am a kid of the seventies. I Loved watching TV when it was on without the usefulness of a VCR to watch it later.. Therefore if on I think Thursday nights you missed “Welcome Back Kotter” you had to wait till it was repeated in the summer.
John Travolta was a star.. though my heart belonged to Horshack HA!. And we all loved Epstien.. Kotter’s wife was the first real TV WILF too..And then MILF later on. She was so hot.
All my friends in school watched it and almost every issue of Dynamite magazine had it too. And we all knew the theme song.
“Welcome back”.. John Sebastion… I don’t even need to look this shit up.. It’s in my brain for life. “Welcome Back Kotter” was one of my all time fave shows ever and I think I maybe only missed one or two in its existence.
John Travolta at the time did TV movies such as Boy in the Plastic Bubble” and went on to Movies and other success. But the others just did nothing and that in itself was sad. Epstein was typecast. Short of a few TV guest shots I never saw him again.
Robert Hegyes Did at the age of 60 today.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/26/robert-hegyes-dead_n_1234978.html?icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl2|sec3_lnk1%26pLid%3D130530.

Peace Within Robert…
I can only imagine the notes your mom wrote for god…

“Welcome Back, Kotter: The Sit-In (#1.15)” (1976)
Juan Epstein: [Late at night in the dark classroom] Hey, Horshack. Tell me somethin’. Do you ever think about what God is like?
Arnold Horshack: Oh, yeah. I think he’s short. And he has a marvelous sense of humor. And a great laugh.
Vernajean Williams: Hey, God can do anything.
Freddie ‘Boom Boom’ Washington: He can?
Vernajean Williams: SHE can. You know, she sings just like Aretha Franklin.
Juan Epstein: Y’know, I think God is kinda tough, y’know? But he’s fair. Sorta like John Wayne in a white beard, y’know? “All right, pilgrims, move those clouds in a circle.”
Vinnie Barbarino: I got my own idea of what God is like. I know he’s a sharp dresser. He’s good lookin’. And of course he’s Italian.
Freddie ‘Boom Boom’ Washington: Yeah? Well, if you ask me, all that stuff about harps is a lot of jive. God is backed up by a jazz rhythym section. He got a piano, a bass guitar, and a drummer with a good right foot.
Julie Kotter: Well, I think God is love. And if he were here, he’d love my tuna casserole.
Juan Epstein: Hey, Mr. Kotter? What’s your feelings on this subject?
Gabe Kotter: Well, I think that, uh, God is everywhere.
Arnold Horshack: Even in liver?
Gabe Kotter: He’s everywhere. He’s in Times Square. He used to be in Ebbets Field. Spent a lot of time in Ebbets Field. He’s Moonlight in Vermont, Autumn in New York, all the standards. He’s everywhere… with the possible exception of Epstein’s gymn locker! Go to sleep!