I’m a girl.. Yet not a girly girl…I’m not sold on the girls have to shop all the time and be pretty method of being a girl.
It might be I have antisocial tendencies and malls freak me out.
I had a meltdown in a mall once. My sugar was low. I sat down and cried because the people I was with (my mom and another) just would not get done so we could leave. We had been there far too long.(maybe an hour) and they promised me food..( I was in my twenties by the way)
I ditched them and got food.. I think I was also pregnant.. So I had an excuse… they promised me great steak and fry company!.. It was all a ploy…
When I was pregnant I had to walk a lot in the last month as I was late and it had promised to trigger labor.
I used that to my advantage and got food and ice cream.. And some days even Godiva chocolate. I almost got a dog out of it. But the dog peed on me and I changed my mind.
When we moved to The eastside of Seattle we had a heat wave.. The mall was air conditioned.. Bell square also had a Disney store and a Warner brothers store.. A cute Russian deli and I doubt I saw any of the rest of the mall.
At Christmas time I actually had to excuse myself in line to barf over the anxiety of the crowd waiting for Santa. Which actually was a hell in itself.. He reeked of Brandy and Maia didn’t want to see Santa for another 3 years.
So that being said I love internet shopping when I need something.. Yes I like to dress good.. Yes I like shoes.
BUT
I don’t want to go try shit on…
And I certainly hate BRA shopping.. Seriously..
2 times a year I go out and buy 4-6 bras..
And it sucks..
So I get up to get the kids off to school.. I shower while jack is eating his brekkie.. Then after he leaves I use my free moments to watch a few videos Boris asked me to watch.. And loved them..(a Chicago band at Halloween doing Chrissie Hynde) (Totally wonderful)
THEN
After procrastination I leave for the outlet mall..
I head north toward lake Michigan.. The mall is across the street from it so it has a view. It’s a fun little outlet mall.. All outside and cold and in the am not filled with a lot of people.
I park by the old navy as I am not wandering any farther than that in the place.
I of course have to pee when I get there..
I’m a little on edge today.. No shit.,. And everyone on every corner seems like a creeper.
I do go into the sunglass store first..I seem to be liking cool sunglasses lately and spending a little better money on them so I don’t break them as easy. But big huge frames are the in thing and I hate all those..so I apologize that he was so nice and helped me and I leave.
Then I keep myself from buying stuff at Petteridge farms and head straight for Old Navy. I am there with a purpose.. 1 sweater.. One pair of skinny jeans.
YES I know I am chubby and skinny jeans make muffin tops.. But in winter with thick snow boots on have you ever tried to tuck boots cuts in a pair of boots?
I leave with three striped tops and a cute Leopard print cardigan. Hillary has one like it! I am gonna pair it with a black dress..
I still hate shopping though..But I really like striped t-shirts.. And when I like something I tend to get a couple of it so I never have to go back!
UGHHHH now on to the VF outlet.. I buy bras there.. My little secret! It’s dirt cheap for name brand bras. I usually get these black Vanity Fair ones.. Either way … On my way to bras I scooped up a super hot looking sweater dress. It was on the end cap and I liked it..
The first few bras went kinda ughh.. Nothing fit… I was texting the whole time with Hillary..I even sent her a pic of the tag on the bra.. I ended up posting it on FB later on.. Seriously though she saved me in that dressing room.. Keeping me sane and company..
I finally buy 4 Warners that have the funny tag and 2 lillyette that are kinda sexy…
They are bras.. Big deal.. At least they fit..
6 bras later..
One sweater dress..
One pair of corduroy skinnys and three striped shirts and a cardigan I am set to not have to shop for months…
The anxiety though lasted the whole drive home.. And I sure needed that cappuccino I stopped for at temple news when I hit back in town…
But hey my boobs love me and I am dressed to kill!
Today, I am a bit more educated.
That was so cute! Now on to the Village for shopping: good thing I don’t need any bras…
XOXOXO
I think you titled this post perfectly! It made me think of the joke, “A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.” You got some cool clothes out of your shopping expedition!