After Dyl’s doctor appointment I took Dyl to get some food yesterday.. But as we sat down my phone buzzed that I had a message. I needed to change our order to go and then grab jack from school where he had barfed in the lunch room.
So today I have Jackie with me at home.
He is a really caring boy.. Has been following around Dyl and asking a million questions.. Sitting with him for his nebulizer treatments and last night wanted to sleep with us in the bunk beds to make sure Dyl was OK.
Most people think Autistic children don’t feel.. But they do its just on a different level then we do.. And we can learn a lot from then.
So this morning I woke up with Jackie across my feet, Dyl at my back, Gwen the cat asleep on my feet and Chester on the floor.. I guess they kicked out Chester. I was scrunched to a point where my arms needed to be stretched badly. I was very sore but HEY we all slept well.
I got up got my coffee turned on the “Secret Weapon” and started my day …
As I read the news I was very excited to see that the “West Memphis 3” documentary got nominated for an Oscar as did “Man or Muppet” I have no idea what else did.. Those were the first two things I looked for.
I knew this was the second day of change that included everyone.
Usually it involves me and Jack and his meds. But now Maia takes meds,. And so does my littlest angel Dyl. Dyl takes three meds plus a nebulizer.. We did them all together today. It was a sad reality. But It wasn’t about my sadness for it.. Dyl actually embraced it all. He was so nonchalant about it.
In the doctor office yesterday the nurse Nathan came in and said Dylan we need to do a breathing test.. Dyl watched him explain the test then sighed, put his book down and then said “ok let so this”.
He is such a good well mannered little alien.
Today we all sat at the table as I handed out vials full of strange tasting liquid.
When it was all done I packed it all away and put it back in the fridge as they ate their lunch which consisted of bacon and cinnamon rolls.. Their choice. Jack wanted to know why we use his middle name as his first name.. I asked if he wanted to be called Julien.. He didn’t. But then Dyl piped up that his real name on his planet is Walter and we should start using that. Ever since we saw the Muppets he has been trying to change his name.
I think all kids go through that.
Maia was CinderMai, Maiamei and some other silly names there for a bit.. Jack is a realist and just prefers Jack. I like the name Jack.
The weird thing is Dyl was supposed to be Walter and in my head he is still my little Walter. My mom thought it was far too grown up for a little boy and it was her dad and brothers name.. Walter, her brother was killed by a street car at age 8 and my mom is superstitious.
The only other name I wanted was George. For a boy of course.. I wanted a little girl named Eloise.
I agreed to Dylan only because of the poet named Dylan Thomas.. And it had to be spelled like that…His middle name is Philip after my other grandfather.. I didn’t budge on that.
When I am old I want a black cat named Walter.
H e will be the coolest cat ever.
OK so back to my babies.
Having a sick child makes you change perspective. I don’t want to waste any days anymore. They breeze through life carefree. Why shouldn’t we as grownups learn from this? Why do grownups let themselves defeat and live life like its over. I say just keep going! Sick is not an excuse. You only get sicker when you allow it to consume you.
But today I am still sad.
I am learning..Change is NOT instant.. It has to be done right or even change can devastate your internal well being. But Change is universal. How you handle change is the question and the answer.
I doubt I will be able to change the sadness I feel for my children.. But they don’t know I need to feel sad. They need to play and have fun. They need the fun mom. They need to enjoy the weather the sunshine and even the dark. But instead of my dictation how they feel and live I need to watch them a bit and see how they WANT to live. Because I am an adult and I already lived a child’s life and maybe might have forgotten a little how to do it. I don’t need to make them mini grownups. They are little beings. I am here to guide them. Not convert them.
Learn from that fact alone.. Life is not about converting someone else. Life is about conforming to be you amongst other beings without being offensive, weird, and rude. If little kids can do it why can’t we?
I want to watch Dyl more.
I think he can teach me a lot. And in turn I promise to guide him to enjoy…
Enjoy what?
EVERYTHING.

I am not sure if I am a man or a Muppet…